OVERCOMING DISAPPOINTMENT
KEEP ON GOING.
By JESSICA MCGREGOR JOHNSON.
Ok, so we’ve all heard the phrase “when the going gets tough, the tough get going!”
Or maybe “when life gives you lemons make lemonade!”
Or even “don’t worry when the rug gets pulled from under your feet – learn to dance on a shifting carpet!”
What a collection of clichés!
All of these sayings are kind of saying the same thing: keep on moving forward and let the challenges be the fuel for that movement. Where are you in your life right now? Are things moving as you would like or are you maybe getting disheartened, feeling everything is slowing down so much that maybe it feels like you are not moving at all?
I recently had a huge disappointment. Something that I thought was going to be a large part of my work for at least the next ten years didn’t work out. For a variety of reasons it wasn’t the ‘fit’ I thought it was. For a few days I had a good old wallow in “Poor me!” until I realised that this was one of those lemonade moments. The only person who was going to make the lemonade was me. And to use yet another cliché – I could either wallow in the mud and become very unattractive or I could get out of the mud pile and get on with the work I knew I could do and create something new.
Admittedly I had a wallow for a while until a good friend said to me (after I sighed very heavily about all the new work that I now had to do), “Of course you could be excited about the new direction and see it as just work!” Sometimes it is useful when you have someone who doesn’t mind taking the risk and being that honest in their feedback! In that moment I decided to get going, use the new space that had opened up as the fuel for movement and so began the shift.
How do you make that kind of decision? Question the thought or decision you are in right now. Is it serving you? Does it take you towards your passions, your wishes, needs and wants? What negative effect is it having in your life? One method I highly recommend is something called “The Work” by Byron Katie (www.thework.com). This is a process of questioning your thoughts whereby you get to see a different side of the story. Even the first two questions about your thought, “Is that true?” and, “Can I absolutely know that that is true?” begin to give you new perspective.
Another way is to regroup. Gather all the information you have about what you think you want in your life and get really clear on all the elements of that new direction. Sometimes when we start getting bogged down in the process of change we start trying to fit ourselves to something out there, when in fact the first step is to know yourself and what makes you tick more deeply, and then see where you fit.
So write out your list of elements of what you are looking for. Where is that pointing? That clarity really helps when it comes to attracting opportunities. Not only are you sure about what you are looking for but also you can speak with clarity and passion too.
Talking about being unattractive, wallowing in the mud, I use that word with meaning. Not only is someone who is covered in mud literally unattractive to look at, they are also unattractive in the sense of attracting what they want towards them in their lives.
Since my shift in focus towards the courses and workshops that we will be doing in the future, I have been doing a lot of work letting people know about what we have coming up. So much so that until I took a look at my subscribers list earlier today I had not realised that I had had over 40 new subscribers to the newsletter this month. Without me realising I had begun to attract more people. Action engages attention and what you put your attention on grows stronger in your life. The actions I had been taking had engaged the attention necessary to build results.
So how does this relate to you? Well for some of you reading this you might have already seen where you need to start making lemonade. In that case, just get going! Take one step and let it lead you on.
For others ask yourself, where I am not fully engaged in my life or work? What am I sighing about and not feel enthusiastic or excited about when actually I could chose to be so? What do I need to get going with, what I am putting off?
My experience in the last month is that even out of disappointment comes new direction and new opportunity. Get out of the mud and dance on the shifting carpet and start making lemonade! Time and again I have experienced clients who do this and just keep going, make it and end up with exactly the life and work they want. You can do that too.
About the Author
Jessica McGregor Johnson works internationally as a Life Fulfilment Coach. She offers a free introductory session to discuss how she can help you create the shift you want and feel excited about your career and life again. Contact jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com or call 0203 239 6155 or visit www.jessicamcgregorjohnson.com
Jessica is also a Certified Passion Test Facilitator. The Passion Test is simple to take, fun to do and profoundly effective. For more information visit http://www.jessicamcgregorjohnson.com/the-passion-test.html