By Jo Geraghty

The high achiever mindset is so conditioned to win at everything, all of the time, that whenever we perceive or we’re told that we didn’t quite ‘reach the bar’, regardless of whether it has been placed there by ourselves or by others, we consider that we’re unsuccessful.

Whether it’s losing a major client, folding a business or not getting a job that you’ve interviewed for, the repercussions on your confidence levels can be devastating.

The internal dialogue can haunt you for a long time and the little voice in your head can scream failure at every new idea you have.  Your thoughts scan every decision made, every conversation had and question your belief in yourself; ‘why did this happen to me?’

Success, however, is not without risk and a successful person has had to overcome temporary defeat at one time or another. Richard Branson is a prime example of someone who has failed multiple times but has bounced back, setting himself a larger and larger challenge every time.

The first time I lost a client, I was in total disbelief. I quizzed myself; ‘I have lots of happy and satisfied clients who are achieving their objectives, making their targets and are happy with the positive influence I’m having on their life so why did this happen to me?’. I felt that I was using my “guaranteed success formula to coaching”. So, why hadn’t it worked this time?  After this incident, I listed three things that I could do differently next time and decided that my own failure would actually lead to much greater future success. And it did.

So here are three key points to remember;

1) You get results where you focus
Your project/business/career/relationships etc. need a 100% of your attention to succeed. If you’re not totally committed to what you’re doing then don’t expect others to be. Focus and refocus on your goals and the steps that you need to turn them into a reality. Taking your eye off the ball is the first step to your downfall.

2) Ask for feedback & accept the need to change
We know what we’re good at, we have case studies galore of things that have gone according to plan but the world evolves, as does the market and our clients. We need to know that we’ll be as good tomorrow as we are today.  Constantly ask for feedback and if your employer/client/partner wants something different, the key to success lies in our ability to adapt.

3) Use the full toolkit
Alas there is no one model or formula for success. You need to use the most appropriate style, skill or technique for each, individual situation. Just because one method may work with one client, don’t assume it will work with all.

Nobody likes to feel that they’ve failed but it really is the only way that we learn. We refine our internal model and do something different next time. Failure is really the very first step to success.

More About The Author:
Jo Geraghty is managing Director of Beyond the Ladder.

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