THREE BASIC STEPS TO ANGER MANAGEMENT
By NICHOLAS C. HILL (FIC FInstLM)
All human emotions are valid, including anger. To feel passionately irked or peeved is an innate human tendency, which does not automatically equate to despicability. We feel angry for different reasons, and how this emotion is manifested is varied from one person to the next.
Nonetheless, it is crucial for every individual to realise that although bouts of anger are a recognised human emotion, how it is dealt with draws the line between those with a healthy and mature mindset from the ones who have not yet learned the art of self management. Those in the second category may very well be lacking the self-awareness necessary to fashion such intensity of emotion into a non-destructive temperament; for these individuals, a reliable anger management strategy proves more than necessary.
Anger management is a subject that we cover on our Certificate in Emotional Intelligence, which is just one of our leadership and management courses that we run in Bristol, Birmingham, Manchester, London, Newcastle and Glasgow.
Anger, when poorly handled, does not only cause harm to the person experiencing it—including his or her mental, physical, and emotional state—but also, the people directly associated with the said individual such as family members, social circles, and colleagues. Relationships can been shattered by ill-managed anger. Business prospects can been compromised due to indiscriminate manifestations of this emotion. The good news is; there are noteworthy anger management practices that can proactively remedy these situations.
1. Know the root cause of your anger.
How adults physically manifest emotions is linked to experience in the past. Anger and its manifestations is not an exception. For instance, adults who are prone to utter expletives or throw items during a bout of anger had most likely witnessed these exact actions in their formative years. Other potential triggers of fits of anger— the kind that warrants a ticket to anger management training courses — include traumatic events from the past as well as high level of stress. Since the potential cause/s of anger can be traced back to as early as the toddler years, it is indeed crucial for individuals, specifically those who are more prone to anger that borders rage, to take time to assess their personal case and consciously nitpick their present predicament so as to address its very core.
2. Learn to identify emotions.
There are times when individuals fail to recognise that they unwittingly use anger as a manifestation of a completely different or independent emotion, which actually could be dealt with separately. These emotions may include the usual culprits such as feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, pain, humiliation, disgrace, weakness, and even lack of confidence. Anger, when used as a coping mechanism does not qualify as a suitable strategy since it merely side-tracks the development of an individual’s overall emotional intelligence. Anger is best not used in lieu of expressing other emotions.
3. Identify anger red flags and find ways to regain composure.
Anger is not just an emotional response. It also reveals itself in physical manifestations including clamminess, increased heartbeat, nausea, incapacity to concentrate, fidgeting, and physical restlessness, among many others. Recognising these anger management red flags is a good way to caution oneself that anger is boiling and that there is an urgent need to calm down.
Anger management is comprised of many tools and strategies. From the generic principles and approaches to situation-specific paradigms and practices, the options run the gamut. Nevertheless, the efficacy of all these options is heavily influenced by a person’s willingness to learn and to change.
Nicholas C. Hill is Managing Director and Principal Trainer for The Hill Consultancy Ltd, London, specialising in UK-wide public training courses in leadership and management development. Become a highly productive manager and influential leader today. Claim £100 off the list price on any two-day course. Promotional code: PASSION0213. Visit the website or call now to find out more or request a FREE consultation. T: 020 7993 9955 W: www.nicholashill.com